Yes I am fat, so what!

Story By: Anonymous

I was never a girl who fitted into the 'need-to-be-skinny-to-be-pretty' mentality people had. I was always a big, broad shouldered and a bit non-feminine in the way I carried myself. So, when I started high school, people criticized my weight and said that I looked more of a man than a woman because of my build.

I had always been taught to not express my emotions too much as it was considered a sign of weakness. I didn't let all of this get to me. But when my own friends started to say these things I completely lost my trust in people. Sometimes my own siblings told me that I was overweight and ugly. This made me lose my self-confidence and self-worth.

Being the eldest, I knew that I had to fulfill my parents expectations but I started losing interest in anything I did, I couldn't express myself freely. I would breathe heavily and stumble a lot even for a small conversation with someone, mapping out entire conversations and then just chickening out of the situation. Whenever someone just looked at me I felt like I was being constantly judged by people.

As a result, I slowly started isolating myself from people. I just sat in my room for hours at an end doing anything that would distract my thoughts, avoided looking at the mirror at all costs and just pitied myself for being the way I was.

In 11th grade we moved to a new city due to my fathers' job. The thought of going to a new school scared me. But, making new friends in that school changed my life. For the first time in years I felt as if I was not being judged by people for voicing my opinions. I talked about my insecurities to one of my new friends in the school. This helped me rebuild my self-confidence. Getting all those negative body-image issues off my chest felt good.

I have come a long way from what I was back then. I've accepted the way I am- flaws and everything all wrapped up in a package. I can still say that I am a bit insecure about how I look but I like myself the way I am and if people cannot accept that then I can't change how they wish to think.

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