Will I ever be a dad?
Updated: Sep 10, 2020
Story By: Anonymous
I hardly ever talk about this, but this has been the greatest truth of my life. Before college, my left testicle had varicocele, due to which it wasn't as healthy as the other one and so I had to get it operated to get cured.
But, the problem is not as simple as it looks. It was ignored over the years and by the time it was solved I was already in a state of despair and too damaged psychologically to immediately recover from it.
I did manage to tell a girl about it, but it wasn't the complete truth. In the past 3 years, I had lost all my self esteem or my will to just act and or get horny. This incident had broken me from inside and there was always this fear of being judged and the pressure of not being able to perform. And this became the reason of my break up with that girl.
I know that I had some issue that can literally make me incapable of having one of the biggest joys of life. Even though i feel that time is the best healer and only time can solve my problems and I think that my situation will improve with time or may be this is how I am going to spend the rest of my life. I don't know.
I don't have any girls as friends and I don't go to places, where I might have to face situations like that. I have tried but I have failed and my heart weeps when I think of other people who can choose to be both physically and emotionally intimate with other people, for I dont have this choice and I can't.