Updated: Sep 23
Four years ago, I was detected with a disease called Urticaria. It causes extreme red and itchy skin, informally called as chronic rashes. As a result I was prescribed some steroids. The itching and rashes are so much that being without an air conditioner even for 10 mins makes my skin become red with irritation. Only steroids can give me temporary relief.
But the steroids that I have been consuming for 4 years now, have immense side effects. Over the course of these 4 years, I have developed Cushing Syndrome because of which my body has become very weak. I have borderline diabetes, my stomach is constantly acidic, my blood pressure is always so high, I recently had my first asthma attack, my limbs have become weak and fragile and over that, my body retains a lot of water because of which I have become obese.
My hands and legs are so swollen that I often find it difficult to find the slippers of my size. I clearly have a lot of problems in my body and life that make living my life, a struggle. I am already depressed, but I try to give myself some happiness by going for a movie or a eating out sometimes, but turns out, in India if you are that fat, you can’t even give these basic luxuries to yourself.
The other day, I was out with my family to watch a movie. A girl looked at me and passed on a comment about how fat I was. It was loud enough that I could clearly hear it in spite of standing a little far. The guy who accompanied her, while looking towards me, began doing body gestures to show how he had seen even fatter woman before.
With diabetes knocking on my door, I hardly eat, but people so conveniently always tell me to eat less. Imagine me having lunch with my brother and fiance, and then someone will come and say something as if only I will eat everything kept at the table.
All I know is that I did not choose to be fat and sick. Everyone has the right to live and do things like going to a mall, including myself. People need to stop speaking without knowing the other person and what the other person might be going through.