Unexpected Abuse

Story By: Hemming and Hawing


In college, I fell in 'love' with a boy who was the archetypal guitarist kind. We hung out, snuck around and spent time as two best buds would. I knew his family, he knew mine. Our friends got along well, and everything was good to a point where I had toyed with the idea of him being 'the one' too.

I dated him for a little over two years before I realized he was nowhere close to 'the one', which in hindsight was clear 6 months into our relationship. What he called love was nothing but sheer dominance. The abuse began after I got pregnant and had to get an abortion. He'd wear me out by talking me down only to eventually have the victory of his sweet nothings later. He'd get drunk, sleep with me and then get into a fight. He'd threaten me and abuse me. He'd scare me with his anger and would say I made him want to hurt himself.

One evening we were out with a few friends at a pub when he suddenly got mad at me and ended up twisting my arm. I got upset and ran out of the pub with a friend where he followed me. The streets were busy, and right there in front of everyone, he pushed me, because I had stepped out of the pub. My friend, and the people around saw this happen and did nothing. I got into an auto and asked the driver to drive away, but he chased me on to the main road. I was so scared of going home alone. Eventually, my father had to come to pick me up at 1 AM and drive me home because I refused to come myself.

Despite all this, like most negative relationships, we got back together. Amongst this, I lost myself. It only got worse over time, and finally took him cheating to give me the strength to sever him out of my life. I built relationships that helped me stand up on my own two feet again and trust myself.

If you're ever in a place where you feel you can't get out of something, please reach out. It's never too late and there will always be someone ready to help. And if this ever reaches the guy who did this, in the words of Mr. Wonderful, you're dead to me.

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