Touch- Good or Bad

Updated: Sep 24, 2020

Story By: Antra Dasgupta

As far as I could remember, I was 11 years old. I used to fall sick on the odd occasions. As I can recall, one day I came back from school with a slight ache on my left chest. The pain grew like a scalded cat as the evening glided into the night and the night glided into morning.

Frightened with the thought that chest pain can lead to something serious, my parents decided to take me to a doctor. As expected I was prescribed with various different medical tests, followed by “Breast Ultrasound”

Without any delay my parents took me to a medical laboratory to get the entire test done. Finally, it was time for me to go through breast ultrasound. Going through it first time, I was abstracted by the whole procedure of how it is done. Anyhow, after a long wait it was my time to go into the examination room and only my mother was allowed to accompany me. Inside, an old lady attendant gave me a hand towel and asked me to remove my T-shirt. I was expecting a gown.

Nevertheless, as she was still holding the towel and looking at me impatiently, I was frightened and hesitatingly removed my t-shirt and then unhooked my bra. I was hiding my newly bloomed breast with my hands from my mother and the stranger. Undressed (hands on my breast) I was asked to lie down on a bed near me.

After lying down for 5 minutes, the doctor irrupted into the room and to my surprise, he was a “he”. He came and sat on the bed side seat and removed the towel from my hand. Absolutely uncovered, I was trying to put my hands on my breast at least. He immediately shoved my hands and started fastening few wires on my chest and applied some gel and started moving a wand like device on me. I was aware of intentional brushes of fingers in between.

I was conscious, sheepish, and red – faced, just praying for this to get over. After several minutes, the process was finally over and the doctor left. I was embarrassed, to an extent that I couldn’t even look into my mother’s eyes. That day as an 11-year-old, I wonder how could I have known what was the intention of those sudden caress of the fingers amidst the massaging wand?

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