The online dating debacle

Story By: Rashi Seth

After being separated for 7 years, I was pretty unsure if I wanted to resettle or not, I couldn’t decipher if I wanted love, attention or companionship, but I felt ready to explore. After researching a bit, I chose to go through some dating sites. I kept my identity anonymous, my status clearly said “Separated and looking to resettle. Special Request: underage and married guys please stay away”. Within minutes I received several requests, and despite my clear declaration most requests were from married or younger men.

Soon I realised that most men on these dating sites fell into one of these categories.One - for these men, dating sites had become like a relationship shop where they came to look for that missing part or spark, away from their semi functional marriage, through a no-questions-asked association, which they label friendship; two - young men, finding an older women, hoping for her to be desperate or a broken soul who will find comfort in their self assessed high libidos; three were the separated or always been single kind of men, hoping to settle down, but still not willing to part ways with their past.

However, I soon concluded that almost all men thought that their libido made up for everything and this virtual world made it easy for them to be completely blatant about it. Dating sites as per them are for fun, but for settlement it was

Unfortunately, we divorced separated women are seen as a good bargain at an easy cost of a dinner drink or coffee. One ends up feeling useless, almost like second hand goods or not good enough for social acceptance.

Although this experience left me disappointed, but after this I knew what I needed. The man I will be with, will be someone I could see myself cuddle, eat popcorns, watch movies, and read books with. And most importantly be myself with. My man shouldn’t play mind games with me or shouldn’t be worried about what his mother thinks. He has to be a person I can grow old with, without worrying about my grey hair and wrinkles. I am looking for an everlasting friendship and may be a spiritual connection. But, SEX is seriously last on my mind.

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