The confusion of helping

Updated: Sep 16, 2020

Story By: Sudhir Bhadra

In my graduation years, one of the works of our group was to help blind students during exams. We used to assign one student to a particular blind student to write for them in the exam. In this regard once I got the opportunity to go with a person as his writer. I had written for him before, but only inside the campus.

This time it was in another city as he was to appear for a PG entrance, so I had to spend a full day with him. When we started the journey, because of ablest tendency I tried to help him in everything like getting into the bus, etc. I noticed that he was hesitant to take my help. I understood my fault instantly as I had seen some blind students in the campus unnecessarily walking fast, hand in hand, just to show that they are able and no different from others. Therefore, I tried not to help him in simple things.

But I got irritated when he behaved the peculiarly, even when he needed my help. He would throw my hand initially when I would try to help him, but would end up taking my help eventually. I didn't know what to do. While returning, I was so annoyed, that I stopped trying to help him and left him on his own.

When we boarded the bus - he accidentally stumbled upon someone and fell down. The people in the bus started shouting at me after knowing that I was accompanying him. I got really pissed off. I didn't say a word to him while returning. After I left him at his place, I decided not to ever go with him, and anyway his term was over, so it didn't matter anymore.

But he kept in touch with me afterwards, by often calling me and greeting me whenever he heard my voice. When he passed the entrance that I had written for him, he personally came to my department to thank me. Even after leaving the university, whenever he was in my city, he came to meet me. He is a college teacher now.

After all this time I have realized that even a tiny help doesn't go in vain. Empathy is good, but you don't need to force it on someone. And most importantly, help someone because you care for them and not because you pity them.

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