The Budding Acceptance for my Mental Health

Updated: Sep 24, 2020

Story By: Debaleena Sarkar

I'm 17 years old right now. In 2016, I was diagnosed with clinical anxiety, borderline depression and cyclothymia(rapid mood swings). Both I and my mum were not only shocked but also shattered when my disease was diagnosed. I am sure that my father was equally affected, but he remained still from outside and the journey thus began.

My parents tried their best to keep my psychological disorder hidden from our relatives, friends and neighbors. I tried to commit suicide thrice, but I failed miserably. My panic attacks, rapid mood swings and other physical symptoms hindered me from going to school or coaching classes. I would often not go to school for 2-3 months straight, yet my parents somehow managed to get me through my classes, with fake medical prescriptions.

It was my 10th class board exams, when my condition became all the more challenging. I would get huge panic attacks at night and would have to give my exams next day in the morning. I still managed to score decently well, and got promoted to the class. My disease started recovering. But the study pressure made me sick again. This time I also got insomnia and loss of appetite. But, this time I couldn't even make it through my final exam and therefore had to go to an open school for my 12th.

However through these years of isolation, immense physical and mental pain I've learned to accept my situation. Unlike my parents, I have started spreading awareness about mental health. To whoever reading this, I want to tell you that mental health is equally important as physical health. It should not be ignored. I am quite lucky to have my father as a doctor, he has made me stronger than before. Thanks to my mother for being so patient, having faith in me and being there for me during my worst days. Despite all the support, speaking out is the only thing that keeps me sane, while I am stuck in a myriad of anxiety attacks and depressive thoughts. Although, I am still struggling, but I hope to do better one day.

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