Six Months before Forever

Updated: Oct 16, 2020

It took me 6 months to get approval from my mother for my marriage. I loved a guy who doesn't belong to my community, my religion.  For me even thinking about falling for a non-muslim person was considered 'napaak' (blasphemous). But love is love - it knows no boundaries. So I fell in love with a Hindu boy. At first, we decided to just go with it and deal with other things as and when we faced them.

After dating for a year and a half, we decided to tell our parents.  He introduced me to his family without discussing my religion. With a name as unusual as mine, no one believes when I say I'm Muslim. So that worked for me. However, once it was established that they like me, we came clean. At first, it was difficult for them to accept it. They even asked me to convert but my husband strictly said that he won't even consider asking me this.

On the other side, my mother was completely against it. She threw me out of the house saying if I can't obey her, it was better that I stay away from her. So I stayed with a couple of friends of mine for a month. It was a very dark phase of my life.

Even after five months when she was still not convinced, I told her that I won't marry the love of my life, only if she didn't bother to find any other suitor for me as well. She took it lightly at first, but I was firm and so was my husband. Hence, she finally called him, had a motherly talk with him, and married me off.  

Till day, both the families haven't talked to each other. My husband shares a good relationship with my mother and I do with his. So far so good. We're a nuclear family - I follow my religion but I also sometimes pray with my in-laws on Diwali and Navratri.

In my community, I am seen like I have committed a crime - few of my Muslim friends were happy for me, few of them tried to talk me out of it. For him - it was complex because due to my name, not everyone knows that I'm a Muslim. However, my in-laws are cool with it.

When I think of people who can't be with people they love because of their religion, caste, or gender, I feel lucky because I know that everyone is not. Sometimes, I wish that just for once, can't we just forget the labels associated with it and focus on being an individual who needs another individual to be with?

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