Me and my disease

Story By: Kabir Deb


On 2nd February, 2012, at about 10 PM, I was having my dinner with my mother and father. Suddenly my eyes started rotating inside my head and the food particles started coming out of my face automatically. It was the day I faced my first seizure, a symptom of deadly epilepsy. Epilepsy is a mental disorder which leads to stiffening of the neurons and in my case, it led to blockage of my food pipe which supplies nutrition to my brain.

Epilepsy is unknown to many parts of our nation and especially those which lack any neurosurgeons and open minded humans to accept epilepsy. I'm quite lucky in that manner as my parents belong to the population which believes in analysing things to understand them. My brain has faced ten seizures, far more deadlier than any earthquake, because it triggers more than 400W of electricity, shaking the body in the worst manner possible.

Neurosurgeons kept me under constant monitoring for more than one year and I was prescribed medicines of more than thousand power. Inducing them became essential for me, to relax my food pipe. Side effects came in the form of increased weight of my body. Fat shaming and bullying became common.

My relatives and friends gave me a tough time The place I live in has got almost nothing/no one to create awareness about this disorder. I lost my chance to the National Defence Academy which triggered suicidal tendencies along with the worst depression of my life. Bullying became common for me as I could never stroll or play alone. Initially, the embarrassment made me sad and frustrated. Relatives came to my house with condolence messages. It was hard to make them understand that any mental disorder is not equal to insanity. Friends got detached by saying “You have a contagious disease and why do you hide behind your mother's salwar?

Epilepsy is not something which we should be scared about. With time, I have been able to control my disease, with the help of right medication. It has helped me to understand life and the ideologies which can create awareness amongst the people because mostly it is not our life which is depressing but the unawareness which makes it so.

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