Updated: Sep 23, 2020

Story By: Anonymous

I got married 12 years back and had two children during this time. At first, I was quite happy but then things started to change or maybe everything was already like this and I was just too blind and didn't see anything.

In my marriage, I have gone through physical violence and mental torture but I held myself back, for my children. I knew that they will never have comfortable standard of living if I decided to leave.

There is only so much a human can take. On one fine day, after so many years, my shell broke down and I came outside with my children. It's been 4 months now and I still don't know where I have to go. We are still married, he didn't file a divorce instead he contacted my relatives to justify that it was all my fault and kept my documents.

There are nights on which I cry and wonder if it was my fault? If I hadn't raised my voice then maybe that slap would never came or if I had accepted the arrangements then at least my children would never had to witness their mother lying in floor with bruises on her face. And then there are some nights on which I just spend the whole time watching the ceiling.

Even after being so educated I can't help but think that maybe it is my fault. Maybe my upbringing is at fault as we are taught to be submissive and blame ourselves for going against the grain.

There is long way for me to go. I don't know what future holds for me. I don't know what I am going to do to survive or If I will ever recover. When life gives you lemons, you have to make lemonade. You don't get a choice because those lemons if lied around for too long, they are just going rot and add garbage to your life.

I have learnt this from the things that I have suffered. But I have hope. I have decided to cling to it, for sake of bright future for my children.

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