Its casual Right, slut shaming

Updated: Sep 23


I like to dance and I always thought the dance was an emotion that bonded people. So I danced to a lot of songs in the 1st year of college fest off stage with fellow college mates. 

Messages started pouring in every other day in my social media from these mates. Being a nerd with little friends, it made me happy to get new friends in college. Then slowly, the conversation moved on from casual talk to casual sex. Till then I was not used to sexual talks and this was a setback for me.

For instance one of the guys who texted on Facebook, after exchanging some pleasantries, continued to text and then after some days began making sexual advances. I politely refused. He continued to bring up sex again and again in the conversation and that we should have it.

He said that I looked like someone who could be interested as I was ok with dancing in public. Despite my denial, he began video calling me and asking for kiss and sex in messages. He also sent me unsolicited, shirtless pictures of himself.


One day in front of the college admin building, I saw him along with his friends. I was enraged to see him. 


I passed him a flying kiss saying “let’s do it here”. Since he always asked for kisses I thought it will embarrass him and he will stop if I do it in public.

This was my way to fight back as most of those guys wanted to maintain the privacy of their sexual talks and maintained the “I am a man who respects women” attitude outside. This move frightened him and he left. 


Now the very thing I used as a protest against the guy turned against me.

I was officially the slut who liked it. I couldn’t go to cafes in college with the same happiness anymore. Non-class guy friends were more frightening.

When I told a few of my girl pals about this and they too slut-shamed me. They said that the t-shirts and short-clothes I wore were perky enough to show off my breasts; the way I walked, and the boldness with which I spoke and danced around meant I had a ‘loose character’. 


This is when I realized my fights were worthless. I had to somehow escape that toxic and misogynistic environment. I thought of giving up and moving to another place. 


Although I lost all my so-called friends, I managed to complete my course. 

It was tough to cross-college but now when I look back, I feel happy that I retaliated and learned how people are. I still do come across these situations but now I know how to fight them.

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