Domestic Violence in my House
Updated: Sep 26, 2020
Story of Anonymous
It's doesn't matter how much we strive to align things in accordance with what we desire, but there will always be one thing we cannot change about our lives - our families or parents, precisely. We can make them familiar with the new technologies but we can never change what they believe in because that’s what they grew up with.
A couple of years back – one winter afternoon, I was with my mother and an elder cousin sister, when my mother started telling how Deepu from the next house got drunk around noon, climbed to the terrace where his wife was with their children (three in number, all below 8 years of age), held her by her hair, slapped her a few times, and pulled her by her hair and took her downstairs while the children followed crying 'Papa don't hit mummy’ in continuation. This caught my attention, and I impulsively asked, “Did you not shout or say anything? Or dial 100?”, and she said, “No, why should I? It's a matter between a husband and a wife, I shouldn't interfere.” This got on my nerves and I retaliated by saying “why do you cry to your sisters, naani and your children when papa hits you?” I was wondering if I talked inappropriately to my mother, but what really moved me was how domestic violence is ubiquitous and normalized in our society and I think you all get that, but I'd still mention it's one of the many offsprings of patriarchy. How can people not understand that women are humans and equal to men? That wives are companions and not slaves? That violence is not acceptable or good in any relationship between husband and wife, parents and children, boyfriend and girlfriend or any other relationship. And that if you have a problem, then the only way to end it is by talking about it and against it. Also, your children might inherit it if that's what they see. That’s how your sons become incapable of handling themselves and their emotions and your daughters - permanently scarred and scared.
I am a son to my father, but I am also a son to my mother and I can’t hit my father in return but not doing that is so hard. I accept that he has done so much for me, but also I can’t stop hating him.